Confessions of the Soul
by ruthierocks
Summary: Lucy moves away to college and has to be an adult
1. Opening

With a sigh of great relief, Lucy Camden woke up to the sound of her alarm clock telling her to get up and start the day. Life wasn't always easy, and Lucy had just experienced that in her horrible dream. In this dream, Lucy had been in a car accident and was in ICU. Luckily, she had been dreaming, and was now fully aware of her surroundings. Moving was not an easy task, especially when you quit college for a year and end up broke and living back at your parents house. Finally, Lucy had gotten her act back together and was now attending college at Christ for the Nations in Dallas, Texas. Her roommate seemed to be in the bathroom and Lucy wasn't in the mood to get up, especially on a Saturday. She looked at her clock and saw that it was nine-thirty. She rolled over, trying to wake herself up, fighting off fatigue. Her roommate came out of the bathroom.  
  
"Lucy, are you awake?" Her roommate, Kinsey, asked.  
  
"No," Lucy replied. Little did Lucy know, but her roommate was dingy.   
  
"Are you sure?" Kinsey asked.  
  
"Positive," Lucy replied.  
  
"Ok," Kinsey said. Lucy sat up.  
  
"Fine, you got my attention. What?" Lucy asked.  
  
"Do you want to go to the Ice Cream Shoppe with me and my friends?" Kinsey asked. Lucy didn't bother to correct her grammar, that's what teachers were for.  
  
"Sure," Lucy agreed, after much deliberation.  
  
"Great! I'll tell Lily and Hannah," Kinsey replied.  
  
"Are they your friends?" Lucy asked.  
  
"Yeah. They're really great," Kinsey said.  
  
"Ok. I'm new around here and I don't know where everything is in town. Do you think maybe we could cruise around?" Lucy asked.  
  
"You California natives use such big words. Sure we'll take a drive. We can drive around campus too. None of us know very much about that, we're all freshmen," Kinsey replied.  
  
"I went to college in California for a year and then took a year off. Now I'm here. I can't believe I have to start all over again," Lucy explained.  
  
"That stinks," Kinsey replied.  
  
"Yeah, I know. It does," Lucy agreed. She finally pulled herself from her bed and opened her suitcase. She hadn't had time to unpack yet. She was dreading orientation on Monday. Monday would be a packed day. Getting classes, orientation, getting her books and the list goes on. Lucy's head was nearly spinning with questions about where stuff was, what to do, etc, etc. She got out a pair of jeans and a t-shirt that said Varsity on it. She went into the bathroom to change. She looked at the bathroom. It was small. It had a shower, a toilet, a sink, a trashcan, and a laundry basket. As she changed, she looked at the toilet. It was clean. The shower was clean. The sink was clean. She hadn't expected her dorm to be this clean. She'd heard that college students behaved like pigs, and she decided that that wasn't true. She threw her pajamas into the laundry basket and looked at her hair. It was a mess. She smiled and her teeth were grimy. She still had bags under her eyes from the long trip. She realized that she looked horrible. Disgusted with her self-image, she walked out of the bathroom, went back to her suitcase and began to scramble around for her hairbrush, toothpaste, and toothbrush. She found her hairbrush and her toothbrush, but her toothpaste was nowhere to be found.   
  
"Could I borrow your toothpaste?" Lucy asked.  
  
"Sure, it's in the cabinet," Kinsey replied, as she did her make up. Kinsey was pretty, but a little overweight. She had straight, light-brown hair that fell several inches below her shoulder. Her big eyes were a hazel color that reflected her long, black eyelashes.   
  
Lucy went into the bathroom and opened the cabinet. She got out the Aquafresh toothpaste and shuddered. She hated Aquafresh! Her favorite kind of toothpaste was Colgate, but the taste in her mouth was bitter and she couldn't stand dirty teeth, so she flipped the lid and put some on her toothbrush. She wet her toothbrush a little, so it wouldn't be too dry, and then began to brush. She walked out of the bathroom, still brushing and stepped on a tack. She jumped in pain and sat down, looking at her foot. She could see a little prick, but nothing more. She picked up the tack and put it on the desk, as she continued to brush. She went to the bathroom, spit out the toothpaste and rinsed her toothbrush, not to mention her mouth. She picked up her hairbrush and picked out the hair and began to brush her hair. Her hair seemed to be flat today, and very straight. She brushed it and decided that it couldn't look much better on a day like it had been so far. Kinsey walked in.  
  
"You better do your make up," Kinsey said.  
  
"I will. I just got up," Lucy replied. She went back to her suitcase and got her soft pink colored eye shadow, blush, light brown lipstick, foundation, powder, and black mascara. As she put on her foundation, she wondered why she was. She thought, "Why do I have to wear all this make up? Just to impress people?"   
  
Within twenty minutes, Lucy had her make up on and was almost ready to go. There was a knock on the door. Kinsey opened the door to two girls. One of the girls had shoulder-length red hair with blond high-lights, brown eyes, and a shirt that said Diva clearly written across the chest. The other girl was a bit taller and thinner. She had long, straight, brown, brown eyes and a dark complexion.  
  
"Lily, Hannah, this is Lucy Camden. She'll be coming with us," Kinsey said. Lucy was tying her shoes. The taller girl was Lily, and the red-haired one was Hannah.  
  
"Hi," Lucy said, shyly.  
  
"Hi Lucy," Lily replied.  
  
"Where are we going?" Hannah asked.  
  
"Why don't we go to the Ice Cream Shoppe?" Kinsey asked.  
  
"Ok, sounds great," Lily replied.  
  
"What do you say, Lucy?" Hannah asked.  
  
"Fine with me," Lucy replied. She was up for a little ice cream.   
  
Lucy grabbed her little bag and threw it on her back and followed them out the door. They got into Lily's Jeep and headed out. Lucy watched as they pulled off campus and headed on the street. They drove for several miles passing churches, restaurants, and even a school. They finally pulled into a little run-down ice cream place. 


	2. Secrets Unrevealed

"This is it?" Lucy asked.  
  
"Yeah. It may not look like much, but it has really great ice cream," Hannah replied. Lily turned down the CD called "Roaring Lambs" that was playing "Headstrong" by Jars Of Clay. Lucy tried to listen to the lyrics and they went like this: I don't know what you've been told but it's wrong. I can't hold you when you fall so headstrong, headstrong....  
  
"Should you be listening to this music?" Lucy asked.  
  
"Yeah. It's Christian music," Lily replied.  
  
"It is?" Lucy asked.  
  
"You're used to those old hymns aren't you?" Kinsey asked.  
  
"Well, isn't everyone?" Lucy asked.  
  
"No, this is just an upbeat version of Christian music. We refer to it as Christian Hip-Hop," Lily replied.  
  
"Ok," Lucy said.  
  
"Here's another song," Hannah said, skipping to Track number 3. She turned it up. The music came on and it said: I talk to you, you talk to me. We speak our own language. These common truths that we believe are like a warm, inviting fire we gather 'round. But there's a danger lurking here, inside our place of comfort, We've got to go out in the dark, 'cause there's a hungry heart that's longing just to know that someone cares enough to go, out there, someone needs a friend, who'll walk against the wind to a place that's strange and unfamiliar, out there, where all of us have been, until love brings us in, so who'll dare to go and be a friend? 'cause someone really needs a friend out there.....  
  
As the song went into the second verse, Lucy listened and realized that hymns aren't the only kind of Christian music. Then, her stomach wondered why they weren't inside eating ice cream. After the song, they finally went in and to Lucy's surprise, it was relatively clean. They went up to the counter and saw the menu. It was huge.  
  
"We'll have the usual, and what do you want, Lucy?" Kinsey asked.  
  
"Oh gosh, I guess I'll have the butterscotch sundae. A medium, please," Lucy replied. She got out her money as the cashier totaled the amount.   
  
"$3.25," The cashier said. Lucy got out 75¢ and thought about how cheap the ice cream was. She gave them the money plus a little tax and they counted it. Then they got their ice cream and sat at a table.  
  
"Do you like it?" Lily asked.  
  
"It's great," Lucy replied. She couldn't get over how nice these girls were.   
  
"What's it like in California?" Kinsey asked.  
  
"It's more, not really civilized, but the businesses are less spread out and everybody is always in each others business," Lucy replied.  
  
"I can imagine that," Hannah said.  
  
"So, is there anything I need to know about the school?" Lucy asked.  
  
"Yeah, you need to know that we're all freshmen, and we don't know anything about it either," Hannah replied.  
  
"Oh, I forgot. Sorry," Lucy said.  
  
"It's no problem. People forget stuff, I know that I sure do," Lily said. Lucy smiled.  
  
  
By Monday, Lucy had gotten to know Kinsey and her friends a little better and was ready to start classes. She woke up and did her now normal routine of getting ready for the day. She had to go to orientation and get her books today. She had her class schedule and the list of books that she needed to buy. She knew that she would have to charge some of them because she just didn't have all that much money.   
  
"Lucy, when are you going out to buy your books?" Kinsey asked.  
  
"I'm going at about noon so that I'll have them all by orientation," Lucy replied as she put on her mascara.  
  
"I'll go with you," Kinsey said.  
  
"I need a car," Lucy replied.  
  
"You need a job to get a car, and you don't have a job," Kinsey said.  
  
"I know, but we're going to have to have food here sometime," Lucy replied.  
  
"That's why we have a Student Union where you can buy snacks, a cafeteria where you can buy food, and a restaurant to eat at," Kinsey said.  
  
"I don't know if I can live like that," Lucy confessed.  
  
"Most of the students do that," Kinsey informed.  
  
"If they can, I can," Lucy replied.  
  
"That's the spirit," Kinsey said. Lucy smiled. She knew that she had to pick up her books soon and her roommate was worried about food.   
  
"I wonder if there are any cute boys around," Kinsey said.  
  
"I'm not going to worry about guys right now. I've been known to be boy crazy for years and I don't want that reputation at this school," Lucy replied.  
  
"I just like guys," Kinsey said.  
  
"Well, I just broke up with my fiancé and it was a long and horrible goodbye and long and horrible flight here and I'm not even adjusted yet," Lucy replied. She knew what it felt like to be rejected and lonely. 


	3. A Spark

Lucy lifted a book from the shelf. She needed the book "As for Me and My House" for a devotional. She read the front of it to herself. It said: As for Me and My House "Here's hope and help for building faith-filled families today" An 18-week Family Devotional Guide by Delores Hayford.   
  
"Great, a guide to raising a Christian family," Lucy said. She turned it over to find the price. $9.99. She flipped through the book. There were 310 pages. "Is this a good deal?" Lucy asked herself. She started walking and by not watching where she was going, she ran into a guy who wasn't watching where he was going. They both fell on the floor.  
  
"Oh great!" The guy said.  
  
"I'm so sorry, I wasn't watching where I was going!" Lucy apologized.   
  
"It's ok, I wasn't either," The guy replied. There were books all over the floor. Lucy was overcome with the sudden urge to laugh. She laughed until he started laughing. They got up and gathered their books.  
  
"I'm Ryan Jones," Ryan said, extending his hand.  
  
"I'm Lucy Camden," Lucy replied.  
  
"Are you a freshman?" Ryan asked. Lucy nodded, still smiling.  
  
"Are you a freshman?" Lucy asked.  
  
"No, I'm a sophomore. Are you eighteen?" Ryan asked.  
  
"No. I'm twenty-one. I was going to a different college and then I quit and took a year off. Well, it was more like a half of a year," Lucy replied.  
  
"I'm twenty-two. I took two years off. I though I could just get a job and that would be that, but I realized that that wouldn't work, so now I'm going for my degree in theology. It's a long bumpy ride, but somebody has to do it," Ryan said.  
  
"I'm going to follow in my father's footsteps and become a minister," Lucy replied.  
  
"Ok, that's cool," Ryan said.  
  
"Yeah, I guess," Lucy said, thinking on her family. She missed them. She wondered what they were doing right now. Then she decided that they had told her to leave, and that she had gone as far from them as possible, or at least as far from them and into a good college as possible.  
  
"I better go, my family is seven miles away and I told them I'd be home for lunch," Ryan replied.  
  
"Oh, your family lives near?" Lucy asked.  
  
"Yeah. Where does your family live?" Ryan asked.  
  
"A small city several miles outside of San Francisco, California," Lucy replied.  
  
"Oh, you're from California? Any siblings?" Ryan asked.  
  
"Six. Two sisters, four brothers, my sister's ex-boyfriend, my parents, and a dog," Lucy replied.  
  
"Wow, that's one big family. Your sister's ex-boyfriend?" Ryan asked with puzzlement.  
  
"Yeah. His name is Robbie Palmer and he was kind of the bad boy and my sister dated him and they broke up, of course. Then he went to live with his other girlfriend who he had been dating even when he was dating my sister and she kicked him out and he was homeless, so he lives with us, with them, now," Lucy replied.  
  
"Wow again. I have two sisters, one brother, one sister-in-law, and my parents," Ryan said, "But my brother and sister-in-law live in New Jersey."  
  
"One of my brother's and one of my sister's live away from home, too," Lucy replied.  
  
"Ok, so your house isn't as full as I'd imagined," Ryan said.  
  
"No," Lucy replied, with a little chuckle.  
  
"Like I said, I better go, I still have to pay for these," Ryan said.  
  
"Ok," Lucy replied, "Bye."  
  
"Bye," Ryan said. He waved and walked away. Lucy turned back to the shelf to find another book. She found "Hangman's Curse" by Frank Peretti. It was the first in the series. So far there was only two books, and the other wasn't required. She picked up the book. It looked very interesting. It was green and had fancy writing. She turned to the back and the price was $14.99. Lucy made a face, but it was required. 


	4. Suspicion

Hannah Jenkins walked into the Student Union for the first time. She had gotten her books and was going to meet Kinsey Conner and Lily Faye. They were bringing along Lucy, who Hannah wasn't too thrilled with. Hannah was a girl with reddish-blond hair that comes past her shoulders. She entered the Student Union to see a platform with different shaped tables and chairs. At the back of the room was a cafe. Separating the platform from the walk-way was a bar with stools to sit on. On the other side of the walk-way was a corner with couches. There was a stair-way on both sides of the walk-way and a room in the back with pool and Ping-Pong tables. Hannah sat at one of the triangular shaped tables. Lucy, Lily, and Kinsey walked in and pulled up a couple of extra chairs.   
  
"Hey Hannah," Kinsey said.  
  
"Hi guys, I see that you brought Lucy," Hannah replied, trying to act as cheerful as possible.   
  
"Yeah, she's here. I thought she might as well come. She'll be hanging around with us anyway," Lily said. She smiled.  
  
"Yeah. I came. I wasn't sure if I should or not, but Lily insisted," Lucy replied.  
  
"Yeah. She didn't know if she was welcome, but I told her that God would be thrilled if she joined in with us!" Kinsey insisted.  
  
"Taking private messages from God now, Kinsey?" Hannah asked, in a smart aleck manner.  
  
"Hannah, why would God talk to me personally?" Kinsey asked. Hannah rolled her eyes.  
  
"I think she meant that as a joke," Lily replied, laughing.  
  
"Hey Lucy, cat got your tongue?" Hannah asked.  
  
"No, I just don't have very much to talk about right now," Lucy replied.  
  
"Oh," Hannah said.  
  
"She doesn't have to talk if she doesn't want to," Lily protested.  
  
"I know that, I just wondered why she wasn't talking," Hannah replied, tossing her hair. This time, Lucy rolled her eyes. 


	5. A First Day

They spent a lot of time that night talking. They got home very late that night and were very tired. They went to their dorms and slept. The following morning, the alarm went off and Lucy put the pillow over her head. She didn't want to get up. She didn't want to start class. She knew where everything was located because of orientation, but she wasn't up to the challenge. Kinsey sat up and stretched. She threw a pillow to Lucy, who threw it right back.  
  
"Get up!" Kinsey called.  
  
"I don't want to," Lucy replied.  
  
"Well, you're going to have to. Your parents are helping you pay for this, and you're going to have to start class, unless you like wasting your parents money, and your own," Kinsey stated, getting up.  
  
"I know. I just don't want to. I'm tired, but I'm awake, and there's no chance I could get anymore sleep anyway," Lucy answered, sitting up and yawning. Kinsey went over to her drawer and picked out some clothes.   
  
"You're going to have to put your clothes away sooner or later," Kinsey said, looking at Lucy's suitcase.  
  
"No I don't," Lucy protested.  
  
"Anyway, I'm going to take a quick shower. We've only got two hours before class and we've still got to eat," Kinsey said. Lucy nodded, still not wanting to get up. Kinsey went into the bathroom. Lucy pondered for a moment, wondering if she really wanted to stick this out. She'd never really been away from home for a long period of time, let alone four years. She thought about her family and decided that she'd call them and say hello after classes. She smiled when she thought of Simon, Ruthie, and the twins. Simon was a teenager and already dating. Lucy could remember fighting with him over toys. Ruthie had just grown up too fast. It seemed like yesterday that Lucy was playing games with her little sister, now she was thirteen, and had a little boyfriend of her own. A tear came to Lucy's eye when she thought of the twins. She could remember holding Sam and Dave, and singing to them. Now they were four years old, close to five. The Valentines day babies. Lucy smiled when she thought back on that hectic day. Then she realized that she better hurry up and get dressed, or she'd be late for class - which wasn't good. Later in the year, she would have to counsel someone and try to help them. She'd seen her dad do it all the time. He was always helping someone. That's what was so great about him. He was always willing to lend a hand to someone in need.   
  
Lucy scrambled out of bed and bent near her suitcase. She un-zipped it (it zipped), and looked through it. She pulled out a pair of jeans and a long-sleeved shirt. It was raining outside, so she was trying to dress warmly. She dressed and looked at her hair. It was a mess.  
  
"Oh great," Lucy sighed. She grabbed her brush from the nightstand and began brushing really hard. She gave up. It was no use. Then she grabbed a ponytail and put her hair up. She put clips on the sides. She looked at herself and figured that it looked ok. She put on socks and then her tennis shoes. By that time, Kinsey was out of the bathroom.  
  
"I see you're ready," Kinsey said, brushing her hair.  
  
"Yeah, I'm as ready as I'm going to be," Lucy replied. Lucy got her Bible. She picked up the books "Hangman's Curse" and "As For Me and My House". She also got her "Chicken Soup for the Christian Family Soul" book because they were going to be reading stories from it. She had her materials for three classes. Luckily, they were not back-to-back.   
  
"Do we have any classes together?" Kinsey asked.  
  
"Devotionals and Creative Writing," Lucy replied. She rolled her eyes at the thought of creative writing. Oh well, at least she could get a good education.  
  
"Want to come down to the Student Union and pick up some breakfast and coffee?" Kinsey asked.  
  
"I'm not hungry. If I eat, I'll throw up," Lucy replied, "But I will take you up on the coffee."  
  
"You'll throw up?" Kinsey asked.  
  
"I'm so nervous, I'm sure I'll throw up," Lucy replied.  
  
"Oh. I thought you meant you were sick," Kinsey said. Lucy rolled her eyes and they walked out of their dorm. Lucy held the books over her head as they rushed to the student union. After they'd run a little ways, Lucy stopped.  
  
"How much farther?" Lucy asked. She was soaked.  
  
"It's just up here," Kinsey replied, pointing.  
  
"I told you that I need a car," Lucy stated. They finally reached the Student Union and walked in. They noticed that it was more crowded. They sat their books on the floor and went up to get their refreshments.  
  
"I'd like one coffee, and some cream," Lucy said.  
  
"$1.25," The cashier responded. Lucy handed her a dollar. She secretly thought about the price. She got her coffee and sat down. She opened to the first page of "As for Me and My House". She passed the forward and the introduction. She had a memory verse. It said: Oh, that there was such a heart in them that they would fear Me and always keep all My commandments, that it might be well with them and their children forever! - Deuteronomy 5:29 . Kinsey sat down.  
  
"What ya' looking at?" Kinsey asked, as she ate some biscotti.  
  
"The Devotional. You should have one," Lucy replied.  
  
"I do," Kinsey said.  
  
"You're becoming a minister too, right?" Lucy asked, recalling that she never asked.  
  
"Youth pastor," Kinsey replied.  
  
"You have to go to college for that?" Lucy asked.  
  
"No, but I am. I want to be smart in everything. I want be a role model for kids," Kinsey replied.  
  
"Is that why you're taking a lot of the same courses that I am?" Lucy asked.  
  
"Yeah," Kinsey replied. Lucy had never considered being a youth pastor. She liked the idea. 


	6. Test of Knowledge

Lucy looked around the room as she sat down. There were at least eight guys and five girls. Lucy sat down in the second row and put all the books that she didn't need on the basket underneath her desk. It was a small desk, much smaller than those at Glen Oak Community College back home. She put her devotional book, notebook, and pen to the side and waited to begin. Hannah and Kinsey walked in and sat right behind Lucy. In a way, she was glad that they weren't right beside her because she had enough trouble concentrating already. A tall, dark man walked up to the front of the class room just as the bell rang.  
  
"Why don't we get right down to business, people?" the teacher, Mr. Vern, said, "Open your notebooks and get out a pen. Be prepared to take notes."  
  
Lucy got out her pen and opened her 5-subject notebook to the first page. Mr. Vern began to write on the board.  
  
"Rules," He said, "Number one, no talking unless you are called on. Number two, I'm the teacher. Number three, you will put forth your best effort, and I'll be helping you to do that. Number four, keep a good attitude. Be aware that you are not the only person in this class and be respectful to your classmates. I'm Mr. Vern and I'll be your Devotional professor. Let's open our Devotional book to page twenty-one. This book is guided to help you in your journey to fulfill what God wants you to do. Be strong and listen to God. Raise a Christian family. I want you to have this memory verse memorized for tomorrow. Do whatever you have to do to memorize it, read it several times, write it. You'll have a quiz on it tomorrow. You'll be writing it down on paper along with the what you think it means. Ok, why don't we have you in the third row, third seat tell us your name and read us the goal and prayer focus."  
  
"Kinsey Phillips. Goal: To see God as a loving, caring Father. Prayer Focus: Thank God for His great love and concern for our family. He wants to teach us. Psalms 35:10," Kinsey replied.  
  
"Very good, Kinsey. Our goal for this week is to understand how much God cares for each and every one of us. I can tell you that some of you here will not be graduating. I can tell you that some of you here aren't completely dedicated to God. Some of you are not ready for the challenge. My message for you today is to get ready," Mr. Vern said, "Follow along as this young man in the front tells us his name and reads the next paragraph."  
  
"Jeff Denver. Allow your children time to think about their answers to your discussion questions. With encouragement it won't be long until they jump right in during discussion periods. Enthusiasm, sharing and brevity are essential to maintain your child's interest throughout the year," Jeff read.  
  
"Ok, good," Mr. Vern said, "Your assignment tonight is to read Unit one, it's only three pages, and memorize the verse." The bell rang. "Class dismissed." Lucy got up from her seat and realized that Mr. Vern was going to be tough, but her assignment wasn't much, and she could handle it. She walked out of the class. 


	7. Look Up

Lucy took a drink at a water fountain and then walked up to Hannah, Kinsey, and Lily.   
  
"Hi guys," Lucy said.  
  
"Hi Lucy. How is your day going?" Lily asked. Hannah just flipped her hair.  
  
"Oh it's fine so far. How is yours?" Lucy asked. Lucy smiled. She realized that Lily seemed to be nice and considerate.  
  
"Oh it's great. We have Creative Writing together," Lily replied.  
  
"I have that too. What do you have Hannah?" Kinsey asked.  
  
"I'm free this period," Hannah replied.  
  
"I wish I was free this period. I've got four more classes to go. I'm glad they're not all in a row," Lucy stated. Lucy, Lily, and Kinsey walked off. Hannah watched them walk away and then turned the opposite direction and tapped some guy on the shoulder.  
  
"What?" He asked.  
  
"I want you to get all the dirt on that Lucy Camden, John," Hannah replied.  
  
"How do you expect I do that?" John asked.  
  
"You're a computer expert. I know. I've seen you work a computer and it's like magic. I'm sure you can find something on her. Her name is Lucy Camden and she's from Glen Oak, California," Hannah replied.  
  
"Ok. I'll try, but, I don't think you'll get much. She seems normal," John said.  
  
"Ok whatever," Hannah replied. She walked away. 


	8. Ruthie's Mistake

Later that night, Lucy called her parents on her mobile phone that she'd bought a few months earlier. Ruthie picked up.  
  
"Hello Yasmine?" Ruthie asked.  
  
"No Ruthie, it's me, Lucy," Lucy replied.  
  
"Ok. I was waiting for a call. I guess I'll put you on with Mom," Ruthie said.  
  
"Hold on, are you having a problem with Yasmine?" Lucy asked.  
  
"It's nothing you can help me with. It's not like you can just drop by," Ruthie replied.  
  
"Tell me anyway. I can give you some advice. I'm good at giving advice," Lucy said.  
  
"Ok. Jake broke up with me and I told Yasmine and she said she'd call me right back. I'm really emotional right now, Lucy. I've got all these feelings, and I don't know what to do with them," Ruthie replied.  
  
"What kind of emotions?" Lucy asked.  
  
"Like I'd like to slap Jake. But there's a part of me who wants to give him my love, all my love," Ruthie replied.  
  
"Hold on. You're serious, aren't you?" Lucy asked.  
  
"Of course I'm serious. It's like I'm turning into you at thirteen," Ruthie replied. Lucy rolled her eyes.  
  
"That's not good Ruthie. I know what you're feeling, and I'm telling you this, whatever you do, never let your emotions get the best of you," Lucy commanded.  
  
"Thanks Lucy," Ruthie replied. She handed the phone to Annie.  
  
"Hi Lucy," Annie said.  
  
"Hi Mom," Lucy replied.  
  
"Ruthie's just upset," Annie said.  
  
"Keep an eye on her. I was that age once. It's an awkward age. It's the age of going from a kid," She choked, "To an adult."  
  
"Why are you upset?" Annie asked.  
  
"I just miss you guys. I thought I'd get to see Ruthie grow up. How are the twins? And Simon, how is Simon?" Lucy asked.  
  
"Simon's great. Sam and David are fine. They all miss you. We all miss you. Happy misses you," Annie replied, a tear coming to her eye.  
  
"I guess I better go," Lucy said.  
  
"Ok honey, I understand. The work of a college student is never done," Annie replied.  
  
"Goodbye Mom," Lucy said. She hung up and began crying. She missed them, and she was afraid that Simon, or maybe Ruthie would make a horrifying mistake, and she wouldn't be there for comfort. 


	9. Learning

After she stopped crying, she walked into her dorm and Kinsey had just changed into her pajamas.  
  
"Hey. You miss your family don't you?" Kinsey asked.  
  
"Yeah. Maybe talking with someone will help. Tell me about Lily and Hannah's family. What about yours?" Lucy asked.  
  
"Ok. Hannah has a tough family. She was raised in Fargo, North Dakota. When she was nine, her mom was killed and her dad didn't want her. He sent her to her aunt and uncle here. Her aunt became sick, and died. Her uncle became very abusive and she was taken away to a foster home. Her foster parents let her run wild. Two years ago, Hannah had an abortion. She was into drugs and alcohol. Hannah had it rough," Kinsey replied.  
  
"Wow. I had no idea," Lucy said, "What about Lily?"  
  
"Lily had a normal life. She was the second of four children. She had an older sister, a younger sister, and a younger brother. Her parents made good money and taught the kids right from wrong. All of Lily's siblings are just as nice as she is. Now to my life. My mom didn't want me and I was adopted by two elderly people who I call my parents. I was the only child and was brought up as a Christian," Kinsey replied.  
  
"I'll tell you about me. I was the middle child. I was left out of everything, and still am. I have great siblings. My older sister got into some trouble in her senior year, but other than that, we're all pretty good kids. There are seven of us. Four boys, three girls. My dad is a minister," Lucy said.  
  
"Wow. I still can't get over it. You have six siblings," Kinsey said.  
  
"Yeah. I know. I still have a feeling, though," Lucy replied.  
  
"A feeling?" Kinsey asked.  
  
"It's my little sister. I think she's going to make a fool of herself or something. It's nothing, really," Lucy replied. Kinsey looked at her. 


	10. A Talk of Truth

Hannah and Lily sat in their dorm room. They were sprawled out on Lily's bed talking.   
  
"So, what do you think the story is?" Hannah asked.  
  
"I think that you need to stop thinking that there is a story because there's not," Lily replied.  
  
"Ok. Why would a girl living a dream life in California come out here in the middle of nowhere? In the hot dry desert that we call home?" Hannah asked.  
  
"Hannah, I know that you think there is a story, but I can assure you that there's not. She probably wanted to get out on her own and live her own life," Lily replied.  
  
"Maybe she's not really from California and she's a spy!" Hannah suggested.  
  
"You're full of it," Lily replied, getting up.   
  
"It's possible," Hannah protested.  
  
"It's also possible that you're full of it," Lily replied. She began to change into her pajamas.   
  
"Ok, ask her when she's going back home if we can go. We've got Christmas break coming up in a couple of months," Hannah replied. Lily looked at her.  
  
"I'm not going to invite us to California for you," Lily stated.  
  
"Oh quit being the good girl. You've got to take chances, Lily," Hannah replied.  
  
"Maybe someday you'll thank me," Lily simply said. She threw her dirty clothes in the corner.  
  
"You are such a pig," Hannah replied. 


	11. Pizza and Words

That next morning Lucy was actually awake by the time the alarm went off. She had taken a shower, was dressed, and was now studying and eating pizza while her hair dried. Kinsey rose up and sniffed the air. She quickly scrambled up and got a piece of pizza.  
  
"That is so good!" Kinsey said.  
  
"I know," Lucy replied.  
  
"What are you doing?" Kinsey asked.  
  
"I'm studying our memory verse. Quiz today," Lucy replied.  
  
"Well, I forgot to study. I read the unit, but I didn't memorize the verse. What did we have for creative writing?" Kinsey asked.  
  
"We were supposed to write a page about ourselves including our name, birthday, favorite things, and greatest accomplishments," Lucy replied, recalling the information in her head.  
  
"I didn't do that either," Kinsey simply said.  
  
"I did," Lucy stated, taking a bite of pizza.  
  
"Where did you get this pizza?" Kinsey asked.  
  
"I got it from Pizza Hut. They brought it here," Lucy answered. She then put her hand on her book and tried to recall the verse in her head. It was no use, her concentration was broken. Lucy cursed and then covered her mouth. She had never heard such vulgar words come from her own mouth!  
  
"Lucy?" Kinsey asked.  
  
"Sorry, it just kind of, slipped out," Lucy replied.  
  
"I don't know you very well, but you never seemed to be the kind to cuss," Kinsey stated.  
  
"I don't normally, if you knew me, you'd know that it did truly just slip out," Lucy stammered.  
  
"I'll believe you, but I'd watch it around Hannah, she already thinks you're up to something," Kinsey warned.  
  
"Up to something? What could I be up to?" Lucy asked.  
  
"I don't know. It's just the way Hannah talks," Kinsey replied.  
  
"Thanks for the warning," Lucy said. She tried to recall the verse once more. Still, it was no use.   
  
"What was the unit about?" Kinsey asked.  
  
"You still have time to read it," Lucy suggested. It had only taken her five or ten minutes to read it. She tried to understand and reflect on it.  
  
"I know, but I don't feel like it," Kinsey replied.  
  
"It was mostly about how much God loves us and how to explain it to our children. That's pretty much the point of the book," Lucy explained.  
  
"A parenting guide?" Kinsey asked.  
  
"Kind of. It's trying to teach your children to be Christians I guess," Lucy replied. She wished that Kinsey would take her shower so she could concentrate.  
  
"Ok. I better take my shower," Kinsey said. Lucy let out a sigh of relief. When Kinsey got her clothes and was in the bathroom, Lucy looked at the verse: Oh, that there was such a heart in them that they would fear Me and always keep all My commandments, that it might be well with them and with their children forever! - Deuteronomy 5:29 


	12. Lily's Poetry

Lucy followed Hannah and Kinsey into the classroom. She sat in the same seat that she had the day before. Hannah and Kinsey sat right behind her again.   
  
"Hey Lucy, I have a question about California," Hannah said. Lucy turned around.  
  
"What?" Lucy asked.  
  
"Is it warm?" Hannah asked.  
  
"Of course it's warm. It's not as warm as it is here, but it still gets hot. It's not like you didn't know that, Hannah," Lucy replied.  
  
"I know. It's just, how do we know if you're really from Cali?" Hannah asked.  
  
"Ok, if you don't believe me, why don't you, Kinsey, and Lily come home with me over Christmas break?" Lucy asked.  
  
"Lily's probably going to go and see her family," Kinsey replied, "But I'm free."  
  
"No, she's going to see her family over Thanksgiving," Hannah said with a smile.  
  
"Ok, it's settled then," Lucy replied. She turned around as the bell ran and Mr. Vern went to the front of the room.  
  
"Ok people. Get out a piece of paper and clear your desk. Write your name the date and Memory Verse in the top right hand corner and write your memory verse. I have eyes like a hawk. I can sense things. No cheating. Begin," Mr. Vern said. Hannah looked at her paper. She had the urge to look around, but knew that this wasn't high school, this was college. She wrote: Oh, that there was such a heart in them - Deuteronomy 5:29  
  
She couldn't think of the rest. But, Lucy wrote the entire verse. Lucy turned over her paper and looked ahead. Kinsey copied Hannah's verse and then finished a couple more words.  
  
"Ok, you should be finished. Pass it forward and then to the right where I will collect them," Mr. Vern commanded. The students did this in a quiet manner. Mr. Vern then walked to the center of the room. "Ok everyone open their books to page twenty-five," Mr. Vern said, "For homework I want you to read this section and type a one page report on what you learned and the lesson this is teaching. We'll read part of this first page. Could I have the young lady in the second row, second seat please say your name and read the Children's Prayer Focus and the first paragraph please?"   
  
"Lucy Camden. Thank God for His willingness to be our teacher. Our memory verse tells us God longs for His people to fear Him and to keep His commandments. God loves us -- our own special family!" Lucy said.  
  
"Ok, young man to the left of her," Mr. Vern said, "Please read the next two paragraphs."  
  
"John Smith. He wants us to have a happy home. He wants us to care for one another. And He wants us to love and trust Him more than anything or anyone else. Remember, earlier we read God's charge about total commitment," John replied.  
  
"Ok. I'll read the verse and you are in charge of the rest," Mr. Vern said, "You shall --." He was cut off by the bell. Everyone walked out. John walked up to Lucy.  
  
"Hey Lucy," John said.  
  
"Oh hi. John, right?" Lucy asked.  
  
"Yeah. I need to talk to you," John replied.  
  
"Ok, talk," Lucy said, knowing that she had a little time until Creative Writing.  
  
"Hannah Jenkins told me to look you up on the Internet to see what I could find about you. Maybe where you really used to live or if you had anything on your record," John replied.  
  
"Thanks for telling me John. I don't really care. Hannah is Hannah. I'll get her back," Lucy said. She knew that Hannah was up to something. She also knew that Hannah wasn't too smart. She decided to let it go, maybe Hannah had changed. Although she highly doubted it. All of a sudden, trapped by her thoughts, she ran into a guy the she realized was Ryan.  
  
"We've got to stop meeting like this," Ryan said, as he picked himself off the floor.  
  
"Yes I know. We really do. Again, I'm sorry. I wasn't watching where I was going," Lucy replied.   
  
"Yeah, I know the feeling," Ryan said with a laugh.  
  
"I didn't realize that we were both in the hall," Lucy noticed.  
  
"Yes, I have morning classes. Actually, you probably didn't notice, but I'm in your Christian Reality Story class," Ryan said.  
  
"You're right, I was too busy reading and stuff to even notice my classmates," Lucy admitted. A lump knotted in her throat and it seemed tough to swallow.  
  
  
"Hey do you think maybe you'd like to go to lunch after class?" Ryan asked.  
  
"Yeah sure. Where should I meet you?" Lucy asked.  
  
"We'll just walked out of class together," Ryan suggested. Lucy smiled. They parted and Lucy went to Creative Writing just as the bell rang. The teacher, Mrs. Malone, came to the classroom.  
  
"Ok class. It's your day to teach me something. When I call your name please come up and read your paper. fifty percent of your grade will be on the content of your paper and fifty percent will be graded on your oral performance. I'll call you up one at a time. First up, Lily Baker," Mrs. Malone said. Lily went up to the front of the classroom and began to read her paper.  
  
"My name is Lillian Candace Baker. I am twenty-one years old. I was born on the hot day of July seventh within the miserable drought many years back. I was born three days before the rain came to make this desert what it is today. I have three siblings. I've had a rather good life except living in this hole of crap we call Dallas. I'm not the only one who feels this way but many of up hate living within the dry and trodden sand of Texas and some of us, well, some of us like it. I'm not one of those people. Obviously, if I've not already made my point, I like poetry which means that I write with my innermost feelings and all my strength. It's what I like to do. You may know me as the nice girl, and I consider myself nice, but my poetry is the true me. I shine through my poetry and that's what I believe, that I shine. No one can tell me different because I know it's true. I've been told that I'm beautiful since the day I set foot into this world and I'm going to believe it until the day that I die, Thank you," Lily said with powerful meaning.   
  
"One hundred," Mrs. Malone said, "Trent Phillips."  
  
The class wore on and on. Lucy was waiting for it to end. As she listened to these papers, she thought about her little secrets. She counted three. One was the horrible goodbye that she had faced, another was a secret she was keeping for her sister, the other was a little "habit" that she couldn't break. These secrets rose to the surface and hit her all at once. She knew that she would break down soon, she just didn't know when that would happen. When she read her paper, she kind of choked and almost cried. No one seemed to notice. They were all as willing to get out of there as she was. Finally, three or four hundred papers (or it seemed) later, the bell rang. Lucy got her homework and was out of there. She had an hour until Christian Reality Stories and she had to call home. 


	13. Dibs and Guys

Kinsey and Lily were eating lunch at the Student Union.   
  
"Your paper was great. I didn't know you had it in you," Kinsey said.  
  
"Oh I've got anger. Everyone does. I just try to be as pleasant as possible when I'm around everyone. Like I said in my paper, I'm not afraid to shine," Lily replied, smiling as she ate her ice cream.  
  
"So, are you going to California with Lucy over Christmas break?" Kinsey asked. Lily looked at her with wide eyes.  
  
"Huh?" Lily asked.  
  
"Yeah, you, me, and Hannah are invited to come with Lucy to Cali over Christmas break," Kinsey explained.  
  
"If I'm invited, I'm there," Lily replied. They slapped hands.  
  
"I wonder if her brothers are cute," Kinsey thought out loud.  
  
"Oh don't worry, even if they are, Hannah will get first dibs on them," Lily replied.  
  
"Dibs? What kind of word is dibs?" Kinsey asked.  
  
"I think it's slang for, oh I don't know, slang for something," Lily replied.  
  
"Who uses that word, dibs?" Kinsey shuddered. Lily playfully hit her. Then they laughed. 


	14. Lifetime Mistake

Lucy dialed the number to her parents house. Simon picked up the phone.  
  
"Hello?" Simon answered.  
  
"Simon, it's Lucy. Is Ruthie there?" Lucy asked.  
  
"Yeah, hold on. How are you?" Simon asked as he walked up stairs where Ruthie was in her room.  
  
"I'm great. I've got an hour between classes and thought I'd say hello to my favorite little sister," Lucy replied.  
  
"Must you rub it in?" Simon joked. Lucy grinned at his sense of humor. She missed it. She heard Ruthie's voice.  
  
"Hello?" Ruthie said.  
  
"Hey Ruthie. How are you? How are things?" Lucy asked.  
  
"Things are fine," Ruthie replied.  
  
"Really?" Lucy asked.  
  
"Yeah. Things are fine. Fine meaning, not the beat, but better than I was," Ruthie explained.  
  
"What about Jake?" Lucy fearfully asked.  
  
"We had one special encounter and now, he's gone," Ruthie replied, beginning to cry.  
  
"What do you mean?" Lucy asked. She had a horrible feeling in her bones.  
  
"I mean we, we. It was a stormy night and I was afraid. Mom had left me alone to baby-sit the twins while she went to help a friend move. Dad was at the church with Chandler," Ruthie choked, "I called Jake to come over. He came over and we went in my room and locked the door. Then the electricity went out. I lit some of those candles that you left me and put on some music through my battery powered stereo. It was love music. We danced. Then I fell. He came to the floor and for the first time in my life, I kissed him. An actual French kiss. Actually, I began to make out with him. We talked and then made out. He was there late into the night. The music was long gone by then. Mom and Dad didn't know he was in there. They just figured I was in bed. We accidentally fell asleep and the next morning we were found and he had lipstick all over his face."  
  
"Ruthie," Lucy said.  
  
"They grounded me for three months. I thought it was pretty extreme, but they didn't. Then they had a long talk with me," Ruthie replied.  
  
"What were you doing making out at your age?" Was all that Lucy could say.  
  
"I'm thirteen. Linda was known to have made out with a boy at twelve," Ruthie explained.  
  
"Did you do this because you wanted to keep up with Linda?" Lucy asked.  
  
"No. I did this because I just felt like a teenager. You know, you, Mary, Matt, and Simon haven't been good at giving me lessons for being a teenager. I mean Matt was smoking, Mary got in lots of trouble, you, well, you were pretty good except that one time, Simon has been getting girlfriends since forever," Ruthie replied. Lucy froze when she heard those last few sentences.  
  
"Yeah Ruthie, I know how you feel. Just, don't, don't ever do it again. Bye," Lucy said as she hung up the phone, partly in shock. Lucy knew she needed to stop this little "habit" that she had. She needed to stop it and fast. It was interfering with her studies, not to mention her family, and her sister's life. 


End file.
